Thursday, December 06, 2007

Corporate Zombies - the first additions

In the opening, lets change the email to be from a coworker:

Hey Bob,

I hear your class today is going to be a bunch of corporate zombies. Hopefully they are not as bad as these nerds:

[link where a group of old-school IBM looking people sing a corporate song]

Tom

I need to write a few lines of a corporate song that they can be singing. The singers in the video will be dressed like the zombies, only the white shirts and ties will look normal, and no zombie makeup. The same shirts will be used ripped up for the zombies.

And, to top it off, the zombies will be doing a "zombie hum" of the same song as they enter the classroom to sit down. And it will even be the same actors as the video, only in zombie makeup this time.

Now I need to listen to some Jonathan Coulton to get inspired for the corporate song. Wish me luck.

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Corporate Zombies the rough draft

Credits on screen with setting shot of modern corporate building.

Enter room, with Bob, the instructor sitting at his computer. Watch him open his email, then focus on the screen. The following email is on the screen:

From: Training Boss
To: Bob

Morning Bob,

You will be training a very important client. I know everyone says they are a bunch of corporate zombies, but they really need to learn the new computer system.

Good Luck,
The Boss

Camera moves to face the back of the room, where the corporate zombies start walking in, sit in front of the individual computers, and start making vague motions, and low grumbling sounds. Two of them wave clawed hands at each other with a zombie grunt of recognition.

Camera moves to Bob, who stands up to begin lecturing.

Bob: Good morning class. Today we are going to learn rinnco's new computer system. To begin, I'm going to ask each of you to login with the username and password I've written on the board.

The head zombie, Tom, gestures with his clawed hand to catch Bob's attention.

Bob: Is something not working Tom? Let me have a look.

Bob walks over to look at Tom's computer.

Bob: Look over here Tom, you have to click on the login prompt first.

Zombie Tom makes exaggerated 2-claw typing motions as he logs in.

Bob returns to the front of the class.

Bob: Anyone else?

Zombie #2 makes the same claw motion.

Bob walks over and points to Zombie #2's screen.

Bob: Just click right here and login.

Multiple zombies all make the same gesturing motion.

Bob: All of you? Don't you people have any brains?

Camera moves to Zombie Tom, who turns his head in the manner of a grotesque, curious dog.

Zombie Tom: Brains?

Zombie Tom then looks at the zombie next to him. They both nod their heads in agreement.

Zombie Tom and neighbor zombie in unison: Brains!

Camera moves to Bob, who is attempting to apologize.

Bob: Look, I'm sorry I lost my tempor, it's been a rough week.

Zombies converge around Bob, drowning out his apologizes.

Zombies in unison: Brains!

Bob disappears under a sea of zombies, as blood spurts out onto the crowd.

Fade to black.

Final Scene.

Opens to zombies 2 claw typing in unison. Camera moves to the back of the room, where the boss is standing in the doorway.

Boss: How's the new system working out everyone?

The zombies raise their thumbs in unison, while grunting their affirmation.

Fade to credits, while the Boss's voice is over the credits.

Boss: Where did Bob go? Did we lose another trainer?

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Defending the Constitution

When I swore into the Navy, I thought it was a big deal that I swore an oath to defend the Constitution of the United States of America. To me, that means I was defending not just the people of the USA, but it's ideals. Even though my service has long been over, I still feel that obligation.

With the political news these days, I'm not sure what that obligation means. It's obvious to many, like myself, that the current administrations actions do not uphold this standard. Unwarranted wiretapping and torturing of prisoners are definitely in violation of the Constitution, and who knows what else is being done.

In 2006, I felt my obligation meant I had to work for the Democratic party. But just today I see that Senator Feinstein is supporting the nomination of Michael Mukasey for Attorney General. Despite his ridiculous position on waterboarding.

So what does my oath mean now? I wrote to both of my Senators. Should I be out protesting? I really don't know. I remember shortly after 9/11 when a former CIA official talked about how giving up our freedoms to fight terrorists would mean we are no longer truly America any more. Are we at that point yet? I don't feel hopeful at this point.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Update to Solution to the Israeli-Palestinian Problem

I don't know how I missed this, but Ted Rall has taken the solution global:

http://www.gocomics.com/rallcom/2007/05/17/